This was me in December 2016
I felt like I had exploded out of my skin and I couldn't be put back. I was forever changed.
2017 was a hard year, not only for me. I stayed married but every picture reveals a lack of connection between my husband and I. Our love of our family was our glue.
My friend Alan severed all contact with me at the end of 2016. He didn't want any part of my failing marriage. He had already lived that life.
My focus was being forced into new directions. I was nudged out of the job I'd had for the past few years and out of the school I had worked at for the past decade. I finally had to address my foot issues with the prospect of surgery, which I had been avoiding for years. On the second day of 2018, I begged to be taken to the Emergency Room for acute abdominal pain. I had acute diverticulitis and a large ovarian cyst. 2018 would be my year of health. In nine months, I would have one ER visit, two CT scans with contrast, a colonoscopy, and two surgeries. I don't have cancer or heart disease or any chronic condition. I was gifted with health problems that would nudge me in new directions without breaking me. 2018 was going to be the year I got turned inside out. The year I divorced my husband of almost 20 years. The year I fell in love for a short time but was left to find my own way.
It is now September and I am finding myself on a new path, alone, hopeful, inspired and full of possibility. My supernova self feels more like a new star forming out of clouds of gas and dust.
I am turning fifty in a couple weeks. My life is precious. I am hopeful.
For my future I want love, passion, adventure, I want nature and animals and beauty. I want laughter and intellect and starry skies. I want someone who shares my joie de vivre and love of travel to places where wilderness still exists. I want deep, fearless spiritual connection. For my birthday, this is my wish.
